Quoth the Marauder Nevermore
by JuJu Kitten
Summary: The Marauders find James doing something they never though they'd see him doing on a Saturday: reading. Rated "T" for Poe's macabre themes and one use of the f-word.


_**Author's Notes:**__** Yes, I know you want more of "My Life as a Hogwarts Sitcom." But, alas, I have hit the ever wonderful roadblock from life. Due to the time apart, I feel like I need to be reacquainted with my fabulous characters. Well, I had inspiration, so I'm grabbing it to get myself back into the swing of things since life is slowing down enough to let me! So I hope you enjoy this short oneshot, and I have plans for another multi-chapter (but they would be stand-alone chapters, meaning you won't need to read all of them to get the idea, sort of like associated drabbles). I hope to continue the other, soon.**_

* * *

**Quoth the Marauder... Nevermore.**

After looking all over Hogwarts Castle for the better part of two hours on a Saturday (a _Saturday_! In _Spring_!When it _wasn't_ raining!), Sirius Black, Remus Lupin, and Peter Pettigrew were about to give up on their search for one Head Boy when they came across the one closest thing.

The Head Girl.

"Oy! Flower!" Sirius called out to Lily. Luckily, since James and she started dating last fall, she's become something of an honorary sister to the Marauders, so she turned around. Any other year and this wouldn't have been an option in the Great Prongs Quest.

"Hey, Sirius," she said, followed by a cordial nod and a smile to Remus and Peter behind him. "Wotcher?"

"You're not the one we were looking for, but you'll do."

"You've always had a way with words, Sirius," Lily said, flatly. "Nothing like hearing 'you'll do' to make a woman want to help you," she added with a wink.

"What Padfoot means," Remus said, pushing Sirius out of the way before he could dig himself in a hole, "is that we have been looking all over Hogwarts for Prongs and we can't find him anyway, and when we found you we were hoping you'd have an idea where else to look."

"Exactly! And you know I love you, Flower!" Sirius said from behind Remus.

"Right, Sirius. And yes, Remus, I know exactly where he is."

"Brilliant!" Sirius exclaimed, stepping back in front of Remus. "Lets here it then!"

"Did you three even _think_ to check the Heads' dormitory?" she said, trying hard to suppress her laughter as the three looked at each other in revelation.

"I _told_ you we should have checked there first!" Peter said. "But no, no one listens to Peter Pettigrew because it's 'such a nice day' and Prongs would 'be caught dead inside on a day like today.'"

"Easy Wormy, they can smell the sarcasm in the dungeons," Sirius said, dryly. Remus merely shrugged and grinned sheepishly at Peter.

Remus turned back to Lily, "When did you see him there, last?"

"About five, maybe ten minutes ago? I was just going to go meet up with the girls to enjoy the weather. He wanted to stay in the room and read in the peace and quiet."

The three boys just stared at Lily in disbelief.

"Prongs is _reading_?" Sirius asked.

"He wanted _peace_?" Remus added.

"And _quiet_?" Peter finished.

Lily couldn't hold back her giggles anymore. "Yes. My mum send me an old favorite from home. An American Muggle writer from the nineteenth century and he's been reading it here and there over the past few days. He though the atmosphere in our common room was more... suited. Cheers, boys," she said with a wave and walked off.

"What in the name of Merlin's baggy y-fronts was she talking about?" Peter said.

"One way to find out," Remus answered with a shrug.

With that the three Marauders turned and headed towards the Heads' dormitory.

* * *

Upon saying the password and entering the common room, they already knew they found their fourth companion. They could just make out the messy black hair sticking out on one side of the sofa and his stocking feet on the other. If anyone had any doubts, his mumbling would have confirmed it.

_"...Herself in the Heavens,  
Her beam on the waves.  
I gaz'd a while  
On her cold smile;  
Too cold — too cold for me.  
There pass'd, as a shroud,  
A fleecy cloud..."_

Sirius leaned over the top of the couch and saw his best mate with an old leather-bound blocking most of his face, reading aloud to himself. He didn't even see him looming over him. "Whatcha reading?" Sirius asked, grinning as James dropped the tomb in his surprise.

"Merlin, Padfoot. Was that necessary?" he asked irritably, fixing his askew glasses.

"For that reaction? Most definitely," was Padfoot's reply. He grabbed the book from James's hands to inspect what has kept his friend hidden from them for the past two hours. "Who's this Poe chap?" he asked, flipping through the book.

"You're reading Edgar Allan Poe?" Remus asked James, taking the chair next to his head.

"Yeah, for a Muggle nutter he's not bad. Stuff's a bit creepy. It's nice," James replied.

Remus smiled and started to recite,  
_"Once upon a midnight dreary, while I pondered, weak and weary,  
Over many a quaint and curious volume of forgotten lore —  
While I nodded, nearly napping, suddenly there came a tapping,  
As of some one gently rapping, rapping at my chamber door.  
''Tis some visiter,' I muttered, 'tapping at my chamber door —  
Only this and nothing more.'"_

"You know it from memory, Moony?" Sirius asked, looking up from the book.

"'The Raven' is his most popular poem, Padfoot, and seeing as my mother is a Muggle I am quite familiar with most of his pieces. This is just one of my favorites."

"It's about a bird?" Peter asked, flatly.

"It's about a man that lost his love and slips slowly into madness. He's visited by a raven that can only say one word, 'Nevermore.'"

"So it's about a talking bird, then?" Peter amended.

"Nevermind," Remus said, smiling and shaking his head.

"I have to say I enjoyed, 'The Facts in the Case of M. Valdermar,'" James said to Remus.

"Where's that one?" Sirius asked.

"Check the table of contents, Padfoot," Remus said, rolling his eyes.

"Ah-hah! Got it!" he said, flipping to the right page and began reading it.

"Should we acknowledge that he's reading for _pleasure_ when he doesn't even read for class?" Peter said, eyeing Sirius curiously.

"Let him be, we'll never see this again," said James with a wave of his hand.

"What's that one?" Peter asked.

"It's more macabre than 'The Raven,' that's for sure," James said with a smile. "Give Padfoot a chance to read it, you'll see."

"It will be worth the wait, I promise you," Remus said, smiling towards the unknowning Sirius.

"Then there was that one when the guys were on that ship and smelled something funny, and it turned out it was the General's-"

"Captain's," Remus corrected.

"Right," James continued, "Captain's dead wife in baggage. They decided to transport her in baggage in order to avoid a panic among the crew and passengers if they knew there was a dead body on board. I don't know, but I'd be freaked out more finding it."

"That's disgusting, Prongs," Peter said, wrinkling his nose. "What else did this guy write about?"

"One story was about the plagues and the inability to escape Death," Remus began to explain.

"Like 'The Three Brothers'?" Peter asked.

"Not quite, more dark. Not a good ending for anyone, really," Remus elaborated.

"Why do you guys like this chap?" he asked.

"Because a good scary story is fun every now and then," James said with a shrug, eyeing Sirius for any reaction. All he could tell at this point is that Sirius was really getting into it. He didn't seem to realize that there were anyone else there. "Hey, Moony. What story did you like best?"

"Well, I was always fond of 'The Oval Portrait,' actually. And of course the classics, like 'The Black Cat,' 'The Tell-Tale Heart,' and 'The Pit and the Pendulum.' Got to see many of them at the cinema."

"You are aware it's like you're speaking another language to me, right?" Peter said to his two comrades.

"Because I know it's the first thing you're thinking about, the 'cinema' is a Muggle form of entertainment where they reenact stories on a large screen. It isn't live, but it's fun," Remus explained.

"Oh, got it," Peter said, grinning. "Now what's this about a portrait, a cat, a heart, and a pit?"

Remus turned to James, "Did you read any of those and want to explain?"

"Of course! Lily told me to read them, first, actually, since they are the most well-known amongst most Muggles, and 'The Oval Portrait' is a favorite of hers."

"I am having a hard time grasping Lily liking this sort of thing," Peter said, frowning.

"You've seen some of the hexes she can fling. You really doubt it?" James said, raising an eyebrow. When Peter shrugged, he continued. "'The Oval Portrait' is about an injured man who finds an abandoned mansion that he decides to use for shelter. Inside are tons of paintings and a big book explaining all of them. One painting really strikes his fancy and he spends about an hour just looking at it, so he looks to the book to learn about it. Turns out the subject was the young wife of the painter. The painter was so distracted by his painting, he didn't even pay attention to his wife. When he was finished he realized she died and he painted her soul into her portrait."

"Bloody hell..." Peter mumbled, his eyes wide. "I'm almost afraid to ask about the others..."

"We can simply sum them up with madness, murder, and torture," Remus said, grinning. "You run with a werewolf once a month but you can't handle a few horror stories?"

Peter didn't get a chance to answer because Sirius yelled out and threw the book to the floor in front of him as if burned.

"What the _fuck_ was that?" he yelled out. "The bloke was _dead _the whole _bloody time_?"

"Have issues with a few horror stories, Padfoot? You can run with werewolves but you can't handle a little fiction?" Peter asked.

"Well, that sounds familiar," Remus grumbled, rolling his eyes.

"You two," Sirius said, standing up and pointing to Remus and James, "are bloody _messed up_ if you like this stuff!"

"Padfoot, it isn't real, you know that, right? Everyone likes to be scared now and then," James said with a grin.

"Well, the idea of hypnosis in the Muggle community is real, but I digress," Remus said with a smirk and crossing his arms.

"Fine, whatever, you are not complete tossers, but Merlin help the Inferius that crosses my path after reading _that_."

"We'll keep that in mind, Padfoot," James said, standing and clapping Sirius on the shoulder.

"I say a trip to the kitchens is in order," Remus said, standing and stretching. "I think Padfoot is in need of something large and chocolate."

"That sounds good," Sirius said, relaxing a little. "Just don't tell Flower."

"Of course not, Padfoot," James said with a grin as Sirius left through the portrait hole, Peter close on his heels.

"You really plan to keep this away from Lily, Prongs?"

"An opportunity like this? Remus, I'm ashamed. I though you knew me better!"

"Next time you see her then?"

"Naturally," he said, slapping Remus a high-five as they exited through the portrait hole.

* * *

_**Author's Note #2:**__** For those curious, in order, the featured works were "Evening Star" (1827), The Raven" (1845), "The Facts in the Case of M. Valdermar" (1845), "The Oblong Box" (1844), "The Masque of the Red Death" (1842), "The Oval Portrait" (1842), "The Black Cat" (1843), "The Tell-Tale Heart" (1843), and "The Pit and the Pendulum" (1842). I was going to cover "The Fall of the House of Usher" (1839), but it just seemed like I covered enough. My sister has the whole collection, though! And all are a good read!**_


End file.
